Solitude and routine

It's strange being suddenly single, and stranger still living alone, after living with my ex partner for such a long time.  At times I hate it (and it's definitely not my plan for much longer), but I am gradually settling into it a little.  Over the last year or so I have struggled a lot being comfortable in my own company, so to suddenly have so much of it is hard but perhaps good for me!  I'm trying to learn to be more at ease with myself, and with a slower, calmer pace to life.  I still feel very sad a lot of the time, but at least I am calm. 

I think the answer is routine.  Life has felt so unfamiliar and strange, so gradually working out my own routines (after so long in a relationship with a shift worker I wasn't even sure what time I like to go to bed!) and sticking to them definitely give me a sense of reassurance.  I'm also trying very hard to nurture myself a bit, cook myself nice meals even if they are just for me, clean sheets on the bed every Sunday, candles and calming herbal teas.  Sounds boring I know but 2013 had far too much excitement, this year all I am aiming for is calm contentment!

If anyone has any suggestions for solitary activities to keep me busy, send them my way.  Or things that you do to be extra nice to yourself?

In other news, I'm going to post a recipe soon - watch this space x

A new beginning

It's 2014!

I didn't write in this blog at all in 2013.  Not one word!  There were very good reasons why not, as I can quite confidently state that 2013 was the hardest year of my life, from pretty much start to finish, but oh thank heavens it's over now. The countdown to the New Year seemed especially significant this time around, of course it is all arbitrary (and a terrible cliche) but psychologically speaking the change feels so welcome, a true new start.  And so gin and tonic in hand I started 2014 a little crumpled but deep down stronger, and really very hopeful that better times are ahead.  In fact they've already begun.  I have so many plans!

I'm unexpectedly single, surprisingly optimistic, and counting my many blessings.  I have the best friends a person could ever ask for.  If the first week-and-a-bit is anything to go by 2014 is going to be about good food and company, and I hope to spend a little more time sharing some of that here.  Even if just for myself. 

Happy new year everybody xx

 

 

The advent of Christmas

Hello dear blog, and even dearer readers who still occasionally pass by! (Thank you!)

Well, can you believe it is December?

Uh uh, me either!  It really is true that time goes quicker as you get older.  This time last year I was crossing my fingers and toes that our house would complete so we could be in by Christmas (we weren't), and while it seems as though this has been our home for a long while now it also seems hard to believe we've been here nearly a year.

But December it is.

Now, normally, I am quite strict about exercising restraint when it comes to festive celebrations and suchlike.

I remember when I was little I had the 'Now That's What I Call Christmas' cassette tape (full of 80s festive classics!) which I loved, and I used to force myself to wait until at least December 15th before I was 'allowed' to listen to it.  In my family, the VERY earliest the tree went up would be 2 days before Christmas (even that usually involved no small amount of pleading on my part), and I've always stuck to holding out until fairly late in the day before cracking out all the festive shenanigans.

But today I have decided that what life needs is a little festive cheer!  As good as life is these days, it is still an ongoing battle to keep my mental health in check (I have struggled with anxiety and depression since my teens), well, perhaps battle is the wrong word as for the most part these days I am able to manage it, but the last month or so it has got the better of me a little.  So I am throwing Christmas caution to the wind as a little extra colour and merriness is just what I need.  I've made Finnish Christmas stars, I have mulled wine, and I am listening to the Messiah...

 

 

Happy Advent everybody!

x

Rest in my arms, sleep in my bed...

 An extra quick post following that last rather long one, but right now seems the right time to share this - late at night, staying up waiting for George to come home from work to say hello and then go to bed all cosy under warm quilts, just the perfect song.

I think 'Michigan' is one of the most beautiful Autumn/Winter record there is.  I heartily recommend it (along with everything else by Sufjan Stevens), and if you don't own it you should go and get it now so that it can soundtrack your changing seasons too.  You won't regret it.


Night Night x

Sverige!

Print by Ingela P Arrhenius

Have I mentioned that I'm quite fond of Sweden?!

The week before last I went on my third annual trip to Stockholm, the first time I've been in the Autumn and it didn't disappoint!

I wanted to write a post about why I'm so drawn to Sweden so much but I'm really struggling, there's no one thing I can pinpoint, and I've been fascinated by it for as long as I can remember so I can't even remember when or why it started!  The dramatic landscapes, all cliffs, lakes and pines, the design, the extreme love of coffee to the point that it's pretty much a national pastime, the social responsibility, the architecture, the strong sense of home and family, the way everything just works (the public transport is like a dream compared to the UK!), the contrasting extremes of the long, dark Winters and laid back Summers lived outdoors, the importance of maintaining traditions to mark the passage of time... I could go on and on, but these are all things that feel important to me, basically everything I set up this blog to be about (see this post for more on that note).

 

 

Visiting Stockholm somehow seems to restore my sense of 'me' and I always feel like I'm at home when I'm there (which is why I seem to have fallen into the habit of a yearly visit!)  One of the major things I love about Stockholm particularly is the way the countryside and the city are so intertwined, I grew up surrounded by fields and forest but love the more busy life of the city, Stockholm really has the best of both.


The place where we were staying really typified this - a 20 minute T-bana ride from the very centre of town but surrounded by trees and a five minute stroll from Lake Söderbysjön in the middle of the Nacka Nature Reserve.  I think my favourite part of our trip was the first day we were there, still sleepy from 30 hours awake/travelling we decided to take it easy and wander towards the lake but somehow took a wrong turn to ended up wandering around Kärrtorp suburb, among wooden houses and falling Autumn leaves, oh I was so happy!  Sometimes I feel like my obsession with all things Scandinavian seems to manifest itself in more of a consumerist way than I'd like, my trip reminded me that it isn't just stylish homewares that I like about it but something much much more.  Saying that I did spend an enormous amount on homewares whilst there (which may well get a post of their own), but hey, I need something to remind me of all the other things right?

Anyway, kind of the main point of this post is that my trip really reminded me of why I started this blog in the first place, to write about the things that are important to me and document my numerous attempts to bring a little more of the Scandinavian lifestyle into my life in the South West of England (whilst dreaming of one day moving to Stockholm), and it made me extra determined to devote a bit more of myself to it.  That's the plan anyway!

Lastly a great big thank you to anyone still reading this - both this rather epic post and my blog! xxx

hej hej!

Well gosh, I can't believe my last post was August!

My excuses are that firstly my computer broke and I had to wipe it completely to mend it, woops!  And then September was an odd month of almost back-to-back illness, first a cold, then a stomach bug, and finally over a week of migraines which nearly drove me mad, I think that was the worst of all, and definitely not conducive to looking at a screen!  But I do hope to get things a bit more back on track as I have missed my little blog. 

But despite those things I have had some lovely times too, two little trips away and generally enjoying the transition to Autumn - both trips really made the most of the new season.  The above picture is from my most recent trip to Stockholm (my most favourite place in the world), and there was also a tiny adventure in the Wye Valley (although this also had a hint of Sweden too as I was staying in a Swedish designed cabin surrounded by pine trees!).  I think I will do separate posts for each trip as I have lots of pictures to share, I promise this will be very soon!

Sarah xx

Sunday Night...

It is Sunday night, the streets are quiet, my chores are done - recycling sorted, laundry hung up, dishes washed...

I've been a-busying thinking more over some of those plans I mentioned before, I feel like I have lots to share and I most certainly will, but for now I am off to bed.

Bed!

Night Night x